Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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A mailman walks into a bar He delivers a bill for the electricity and leaves.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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Why did the the black man die? Because he had an incurable disease.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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How many dead bodies does it take to fill up a bathtub? Wellll.......... It depends on how big the bathtub is.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Nah Nero, nothing wrong here, I mean I am down to earth, you made me realize that, and sincerely you are my best friend, I mean I hang out with geeks all day, and yeah I might be a bit nerdy or even geeky myself, but not like this, I want to be more like you, spend time with you, not playing dungeon and dragons telling myself I am some warrior princess... I thought playing that crap was gonna get funnier but thats not true the least. What I am trying to say is that I look up to you, what you achieved, and still do, while if you look at me, I am literally several grades below you, so yeah, you are looking down at me. And yeah, I might be falling in love with you to be honest, but I know you have a wife and I am the jealous insecure kind, so I would not want to share you with anyone in fear of losing you if you where my husband, but I dont love you for what I want you to be, I love you for who you are. And yeah I know it must be awkward hearing me type my heart out here, but if you want to know me for who I truly am, as sincere as you are, you deserve it. And no, you are not blunt, you are what people would call "honest to a fault", and I adore that side of you, I mean if I want to hear what people think they want me to hear, I ask anyone else, but you, you are different, you are honest to death, and that makes me feel safe and trust you when you say things, I mean you are a free spirit, if you thought I was ugly you would have told me, and that would have been okay, if it where you actually. So I am sorry if I sound weird or desperate or something, its just whats inside of me right now.

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Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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Why did the tornado cross the road? Cuz it's a tornado. Don't question it. Run.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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What is your bill about? Clinton

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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