What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? I don't know, you should check the zoo's surveillance camera.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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AHLTFKCITAWKSHTC

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was trying to kill himself in the fastest and easiest way due to his drinking problems, which in the first place separated him him from his wife, who is fighting with him in court for custody of there only child ,Steven. He can not even pay the rent on his apartment or hold a job to pay child support..he is also in debt.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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your mom is so ugly when she entered an ugly contest they said... ok

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops