Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

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What did the apple say to the banana. Nothing fruits cant talk.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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Jellybeans

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your family is dead, I killed them.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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Q: Why couldn't the ginger play soul music ? A: He couldn't hit the right notes

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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