What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

Why the monkey fall out the tree? Cause he was dead!

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

._____________________. Whale!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

Knock Knock! Who's there? Steven. Steven who? Steven your neighbor, may I please come in?

Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

a jerk that i knew was in a bar. he was about to drive home. at first i tried to stop him until he was sober. instead he punched me in the face. then i dared him to drive home as fast as possible. he died that night... i texted him all the way...

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

What s the difference between a pigeon ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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