- Anti Joke

How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

What's long, yellow, and can kill you if swallowed? A school bus

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

Why is the ground wet It rained

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

Why was timmy no longer being bullied at school? The rope said it all! Bitch Died HA

Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.