Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

HEY!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops