person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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Why did the elephant cross the road? I don't know

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Knock knock. Who's there? Docter. Docter who? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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So um think of two things. Oh wait backspace that. What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Ok answer. Ok stop no seriously so. Enter. Ok Enter. Q backspace A nope Chuck Testa

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Wh ydo i Hate you? 'COs Your a Gimp!

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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