A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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Ms Leong Sux

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Girls Lacrosse.

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

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How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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roses are red violets are dead honey is yellow and so is head

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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