what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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What do you call a blue colored dog with seven legs, that oinks? not a dog...

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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Whats worse than it raining on your birthday? 911

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops