A blind man walked into a bar and got a beer and got drunk and went on a rampage and killed YOUR MOM

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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A prostitution ring operates out of a subway. How much does the prostitute with a foot long penis cost? About $300, for a 12 inch penis is very rare and desirable.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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woman's rights

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Why did the woman drop her keys? She was being raped.

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Joke

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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Knock knock whos there? Underware Underware who? I underware my friends are

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I Rape you!!!

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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A rock walks into a bar. The town goes into extreme panic and is abandoned because rocks are inanimate objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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