What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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A black guy walks into a bar with a dog. He is asked to leave because his dog is not on a lead.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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I like cookies... GIVE ME ICE CREAM.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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