Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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Two eggs are in a frying pan. One egg says to the other, "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The other one says, "Shit, a talking egg!!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

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What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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