What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? Quite obviously, still quizzical, being that tests are just longer, harder quizzes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do homeless people get at Christmas? Cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy get for his birthday? Older.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

it's funny because it's funny

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops