:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? -You can research and find several similarities and differences, but I will not go into detail about them.

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What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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why did the african american man get shot? he partook in a gang life

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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