Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

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If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Ring ring yes.This is doctor steve and we got our test results and it seems that you'r son has butinites and you'r kind sytoms are nothing because he is just an ass.

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

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A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

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Yo momma soo fat, she got diabetes and died

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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when i'm away from home i sometimes get love sick, well they call it chlamydiae.

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Why did the guy jump out of the plane? he was parachuting

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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