What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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penis

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I've got a boner

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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How do you fit 1,000 Jews in a Volkswagen? Trick question, you can't.

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someone called a frog a frog

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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