why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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What did the astronaut say at AA? Alcohol is ruining my life.

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When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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what did the black mother think of her daghter's white boyfreind? i dont know i cant read minds

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have you seen Stevie wonders car? No Neither has he

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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what did the special ed kid get on his iq test? drool

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Once upon time the government was corrupt Jk, it always has been

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Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

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What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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