What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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KOOKABURRA

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Why couldn't Jimmy's bedroom door close? Because it had a tree blocking it.

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What is the name of Steven Hawkins condom.... Anti virus

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How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

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The hooker walks into a bar wearing a vest and tight denim shorts. A drunken man proceeds in trying to have his way with her. He is thrown out for sexual mis-conduct and is currently waiting for his court date.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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Q: why did the boy cross the road A: because he was being chased by a pedophile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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