Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

What's worse than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit. What's worse than a dead baby in a clown suit? Ten dead babies in a trash-can. What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash-can? One dead babie in ten trash-cans.

The Charlotte Bobcats

What is the difference?

Yanter, Look it up

Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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