Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

Why did the little boy stick a fork in the electrical socket? Because he wanted to escape his abusive stepfather

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

Tommy got neutered.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

1 I've been diagnosed with-- 2 I don't give a f*ck, go die in a hole!

Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Leaves are green, You should know all this by now...

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

girls basketball

What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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