What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? It didn't. Anyone who would believe that is a complete moron.

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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