- Anti Joke

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

A group of Germans eagerly await the FIFA football rankings. England is fourth.

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

a 10 year old walks into a bar and orders a beer, he is then escorted out because you are not aloud to be under 21 years old to be in a bar

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

That was totally mean! I mean I was in no way going to say any of that to you! Especially not the last part, sorry that must have been part of the suggestion or something, I barely ever tell myself stuff like that, I mean stop it okay? I mean I totally read it and all but I was all like "I am notnot typing that" please stop it, its humiliating.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartenders asks "Why the long face?"

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

Sometimes I don't make sense, but when I do, I don't

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

69.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy at the homeless shelter? Hi.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops