What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +6

it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

* How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? * He just need to go to the Register Office and change his name to "a man"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the farmer stop the chicken from swearing? Cutting it's head off, skinning it, plucking it's feathers and cooking it on a medium heat for about an hour. He then served it up to his family with green beans, mash and parsnips.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

life is like a box of chocolates........no it's not

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you love me? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar and says ow. Two men walk into a bar, which is weird, because the second guy should have seen it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops