Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What did the man say to the other man? I would have no clue because I am deaf

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because the farmer is obviously to stupid to build a proper chicken coop, and thus his chicken is crossing the road and will most likely be hit by a car

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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yo mama so fat she decided to go on a diet :)

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Whats white and can't climb trees? Yogurt.

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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The Big Band Theory

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whats worse, being kicked in the balls or giving birth? losing an arm to meningitis

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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What happens, when you give a blonde a Computer? She uses it like any other person because her haircolor has nothing to do with her Intelligence

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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