A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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A man jumped off a bridge. He went bungee jumping with his family and had a great time.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why was Billy unhappy? He was molested by a black guy.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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roses are red violets are blue your moms a whore thats it

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What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

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Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to severely injure a human.

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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what did the brick say to the other brick? hello. the guy next to the bricks was shocked and went home and killed his wife then later higherd an indian man to give him a lapdance.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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why are black people so good at sports? hard work and dedication

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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What happened to the little boy who threw a spitball at the teacher? He was killed the next day when the teacher, who had a history of mental instability and schizophrenia, decided to go on a shooting rampage in class.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Badabing.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops