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Did u know that 10/10 people die?

Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

A young boy had a question and looked into the sky then his eyes got burnt from the sun and he went blind.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

This dog can only sniff marijuana.

What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

There is a Mexican, American, and an Italian on a boat.They start to sink. All of them brought things from their country. The Mexican threw burritos over and said, "We have too much of these." The American threw american cheese over and said, "We have too much of these in our country." The Italian throws over pizza and says the same thing. They are still sinking. Then, the American picks up the Mexican, throws him over and says, "We have too much of these in our country."

there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

What's worse than getting stabbed? Getting stabbed twice. What's worse than getting stabbed twice? Getting stabbed three times. What's worse than gettin..... Why does it matter?!?!?! U should be dead by then!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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