Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

Where did the farmer take his pigs on Saturday afternoon? the Slaughterhouse

Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

to get to the other side.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

What did the brick say to the wall? Nothing, as they are both inanimate objects that lack knowledge and the sense to speak.

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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