What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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What has seven legs and cant walk? A paraplegic, and I lied about five of those legs.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know... I thought no one knew the answer to that question...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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