what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

thumb_up thumb_down +17

An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

thumb_up thumb_down +17

honest politician

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hello we are from the church of the latter day saints.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what is green, blue with spots all over? A frog with chicken pox

thumb_up thumb_down +17

That day where Captain America becomes too weak and frail to hold his own shield.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A priest and a police officer are sitting at a bar. They both have considerable drinking problems because problems unrelated to their respective occupations. The bartender's name is Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

autsim

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops