Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black man, a Asian, and a Jew fell into a pit and because of a lack of water they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do the Wii, PS3, and Xbox 360 all have in common? None of them will get you laid.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's bad about the the 3 black Jews that just died...... They were my friends

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black, brown and red? My dog as a serial killer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why are Dino-Nuggets so good? A: Because they are nuggets in the shape of dinosaurs.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops