Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

retard

A blind guy and a priest walk into a bar

Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

What's worse than a baby falling? A baby fall in a pit of tar What did the baby say on the way down? "weeeeeee"

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Q: What's the hardest part about throwing a baby down the stairs? A: My dick.

A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

A seal walks into a club... the seals freinds later inform him they are now at a bar the seal then walks into the bar... the seal was later beaten to death

why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

The Duck walks up to the lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand...Hey bum bum bum....How much is the lemonade

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are....

What's worse than 100 dead babies stapled to a wall? 100 live babies stapled to the wall!!!

what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber where walking in New York . They both get ice cream... then bieber gets hit by a bus.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

Obama getting elected in 2012.

hi

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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