How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than getting hit by a bus? Getting hit by two buses.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Tony Soprano walks into a diner

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops