A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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What is worse than getting raped? Getting raped twice.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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