What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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Whats black,White and Asian? everything we are all equal

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Hello.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

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A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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whats funny about this joke? nothing.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why did you fall? Because of my buttcrack.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops