Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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Whats better then having 10 fingers Having 11

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When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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