Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

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who are the worlds fastest readers? the people who jumped on 911 cause they read 48 stories in 10 seconds

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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What's an Anti Joke?

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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I don't know about anybody else, but I just watched a part of a My Little Pony episode, and there's something about them that makes you want to come back and watch more. It's wierd, like mind control. Has anyone noticed this?

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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