the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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It said i can write my own joke so i did.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartendor says "Why the long face?" The horse replies "My wife was just diagnosed with cancer and given only a week to live."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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