There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. And now he's dead. No more shoe ingestion

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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how do you tell a politician that you hate him? politicians can be female, too.

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Whats black and white and red all over. A penguin in a blender.

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What is more worse than death? Death

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? NOTHING, because NOTHING rhymes with orange!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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Pull my finger ouch..

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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honest politician

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What body part do you shave other than your balls? My fridge.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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