Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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My next door neighbour found out yesterday that I am a serial killer. Knock Knock. [L]

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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1d

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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