A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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guess what chicken butt

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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How many jews does it take to- I have alzheimers

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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