Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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What do you call a black guy with a gun? A police officer.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tradegy.

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I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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My dog got out of its cage So I found it and beat the shit out of my neighbors kid.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Q; What feels like plastic and tastes fake? A: School Food

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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