How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's homeless.

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A man walk into a bar he buys a few drinks. When he is done the bar tender gives him his check. Man told the bar tender he has no money to pay for it. Bartender says," ok how about this we have a horse in the back that hasn't laughed a day in his life if you can make him laugh you get the drinks for free." so man proceeds to do so. A few minutes later man comes out horse is dying. So the man gets his drink for free. A few days later man comes back with the same deal. So the bartender tells him" that horse hasn't stopped laughing since you went back there. If you can make him stop you get your drinks for free." Man goes in a few minutes later comes out horse is crying. Man man is remarked by how he did it but he doesn't question it. A few days past the man comes back an the horse is still crying...... So the bartender ask the man how he did..... Man says," first I told him I had a bigger dick then him....second time I proved it"

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why couldn't the dumbass go to colledge? He couldn't open the door.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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