Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Why did the man and woman have sex? To have a good time, but the man's condom failed and they ended up with a deformed baby because they were brother and sister. Those are your parents. Enjoy

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Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

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Rachel: Wanna hear a conundrum? Robby: Sure! Racheal: Vampire Value card.

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A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What happened when the paraplegic man went into the bar? Nothing the man couldnt get into the bar because the bar has no wheelchair ramp.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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person one: ask me if im a carrot person two: are you a carrot? person one: nope (the walks away)

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Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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