The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - Could you please take a look at my neck it has been hurting there for several weeks now.

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a 7 year old child is watching a show that involves a c0ck, an ass, a bitch, and a bastard......... However this show is completely appropriate for a 7 year old, what could possibly be inappropriate about a chicken, donkey, dog and an orphan?

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Who has a big nose? YOU!!!

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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List of people I love: Hitler Stalin Mussolini Ted Bundy Charles Manson Hannibal Lecter Vladamir Putin Satan Justin Beiber One Direction Chris Brown Chris Brown's parents Oh, and my mother. I love my mother, too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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