Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Really? Okay! UPPER COMMENT GOOD NIGHT NEROCHAN!

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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I shot a bitch.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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whats purple and brown lucozade sport

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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What is white and will kill you if it fell out of a tree? Charles Manson

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Are yu mad Twinkle twinkle little star if yu don't shut up I'm gonna hit you with my freaking car

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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