Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

thumb_up thumb_down +23

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A chicken crosses the road and goes into a bar and recites the following poem: Roses are red Violets are blue Knock Knock Who's there? Sugar is sweet Sugar is sweet who? And so are you. The bartender was confused considering she's a blonde. A genie appears and says to the Mexican he'll grant him 3 wishes. The black guy, the white guy, and the jew were at the bar also. The priest was also drinking. They all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

So I was walking down the road today

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two guys walk into a bar. Whoops did I say bar? I meant Hiroshima 1945. They got radiation poisoning and died slow painful deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You idiot thats 9 letters

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Legal Mexicans in Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops