What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse replies "my wife died yesterday." the next day the bartender wakes up and realises that it didn't happen and that he is a drunk asshole with no life.

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What happens when you hit a black guy with your car? He is seriously injured.

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Good afternoon.

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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What is worse than a nuke exploding? Going to the hospital and finding out you have cancer and aids.

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I would have buttered my bread, but the pool was cold.

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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A Black man and a Hispanic man were sitting in the back seat of a car. Who was driving? Their Asian friend who offered to take them to get lunch.

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What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

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guest what i love pancakes

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What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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1+1=2

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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