You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you make an anti-joke? Like this....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In Soviet Russia my freedoms are severally restricted by communism.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

thumb_up thumb_down +25

God is like semen. They're both nouns.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she is blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

No, you think faster smarter and harder than everyone I know, you change and adapt faster for each day, sometimes I just think one has to stop asking oneself what makes one happy, and simply choose to be happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops