Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Your momma's eyesight is so weak she needs a pair of glasses to see properly

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Where did the guy who shot his neighbor go? Jail, because he was caught, sent to court, and was convicted of murder.

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Q. Why did Steve Carell, the 40 year old virgin, fail to get laid? A. Erectile Dysfunctioning.

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Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock, Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What did the Black guy say to the Jew? Lets be equals

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whats funny about a jew burning? Nothing......

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Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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What happened when the prisoner dropped the soap? He picked it up.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Sarah Palin

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MAKE TEA NOT WAR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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