A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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A woman went outside for some fresh air.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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I love pissing people off :P

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What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

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Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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What's blue? The sky.

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Women's Rights

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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-Knock-knock. -Who's there? -Interrupting Doctor. -Interrup.. -You have cancer.

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A dog run after a squirrel. the pursuit didn't last long the squirrel climb a tree.

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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