If X = 3 and Y = 7, what is X + Y = ? It doesn't matter. You forgot to put your name on the test which means you got an automatic fail.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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What's red and smells like blood? Blood.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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If a tree falls in a forest and only one women is there to hear it, does i make a sound? Trick question: there's no forests in kitchens.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What did one penguin say to the other? Flippty-flop-dop-boop-de-bop. Jazzhands.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He was visiting his client to give him legal advice.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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