Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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Why did the creeper not go home? Because his parents blew up. (As told by a 7 year old.)

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Nothing. He can't talk, just makes awful noises and hand gestures.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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A man walks into the kitchen tells the woman to make him a sandwich and walks out.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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