Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A russian gives away vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

vote this down and i will DOX you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Nobody know he couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops