What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender serves the duck the beer. Later, the bartender wonders to himself when his life got so out of control.

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

Obese penguin. It died of a heart attack.

Were can you find a bag of meth?

What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

A white man, a black man, and a Hispanic man are in car, who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

Q) Why did the Koala fall out of the tree A) Because it was dead!

I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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